One morning, aunty phone me and told me that one of their relative is admitted in the hospital and she need to go there. I cannot say no to her as we are very close and people consider our two families as one. I had a planned for going out with my friends but now no way. I reached her house by 1045 am on my bike and she was locking her house. She wears nice Punjabi dress n really looking young.I turn my bike and her sit n told me the hospital name. I said finish your visit fast as it will be boring for me. She agreed n we reached at hospital. She said me to wait in reception and went inside. I keep on waiting for her n had coffee and cake in-between and after long waiting she came back. She could read my face angrier and said sorry to me.We went near the bike and she said what about lunch. Hari I have not prepared lunch at home. I said I will have something outside. Then she said what about me. She said me that she does not have work at home and can we both go outside for lunch. I. But I'm still scared, Mom.This isn't make-believe anymore. This is for real and I'm scared todeath. I'm not saying I made the wrong decision, but what if I did?What do I do then?" If that's the case, and I hope its not, but if it is, then you smile andgrit your teeth and just make the best of it. You're Nancy Peterman now.You're 46 years old and you're my sister-in law. There's no going back. You are what you are and it is what it is."I took a deep breath and held it as I digested my mother's words. "It iswhat it is," I said, repeating her words."I'm sorry," Mom said. "I shouldn't have taken such a harsh tone withyou. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Its just thatI didn't want it to be difficult. I wanted this to be what you wanted.I thought it would make you happy."I crushed out my cigarette in the ashtray and said, "It is what Iwanted...but its the part about not being able to go back that bothers me.Not that I want to back..but I can't go back, and.
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