" Ericdid nothing. "Please Eric," she begged. "What have I done to deserve this.I'm your sister. Why are you doing this to me? I never did this to you." "Look Denise," Eric said tiredly. "Don't be like this. We've been so niceto you for the past few weeks and our thanks is you begging me like a cryingslut? Come on now. Dad said we could do whatever we wanted to you for the entiresummer. Don't blame me, blame Dad." "But Dad's not here!" Denise said. "So you don't have to follow his rules!You can be nice and let me go. Please Eric, please let me go. I'm your sister,I swear I won't tell. I've never told anyone about Dad, I won't tell anyoneabout what you and Jake have done either." "You won't tell anyone anyway," Eric responded, whether we let you go now,or what until summer's over. So just shut up about it already." "Please Eric!" she cried desperately. "I love you! Just please let me go!" "That's it!" Eric said, clearly mad now. "If youwon't shut up, I'll just have to gag you. ‘I’m so sorry for fucking this up, Ella,’ he tells me and I hear the regret like a weight. I remember licking green popsicle juice from my chin, sitting on my parents’ porch swing, waiting for the moment we could run through the sprinkler and scream to make the mean neighbours scowl and the nice ones smile and recall their youth. ‘Who said you fucked anything up, Ben?’ I ask and this time look at him, at his eyes under wet hair and eyelashes. And then I do know. I didn’t need that first kiss to know, or this week of torture. I just needed this look he was giving me now. Eyes squinting against something he can’t bear, looking like he hasn’t slept in a week, and yet still looking at me because I’m what he wants to look at. Even soaking in the rain. ‘I don’t think I know how to be around you anymore, Ella,’ he admits and his voice catches. Terror brushes my heart like icy fingers. ‘You can’t go, Ben. Fuck that. No, I won’t let you go.’ ‘I can’t pretend anymore, though.’ His glare is.
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