R, Anthony and Marie for the flight back to the States.The drive is very quiet. After the past couple days of excitement, laughter and talk, we are sad to have it come to an end. At the station we all exchange hugs. I give both Karl and Anja heartfelt kisses, saying to each that we need to meet again. I tell them to come to visit us. We have the room and winter is a wonderful time to come to us. I have tears in my eyes and Anja comes to me for one last hug. The tears start falling down my cheeks. My eyes are now running with tears. They won’t stop. Anja looks into my eyes and wipes them with her hand. She is still looking at me and I see her eyes filling now, too. We hug. “I love you, Anja. Thank you so much for this weekend. Thank you for sharing Karl with me. And that Mastiff … I’ll be dreaming of that for days. Please come and see us. Please, let’s stay in touch.”As I separate, she slips a small envelop into my hand. “Read it on the train. Hurry, you are late and they don’t wait.”. Hopelessness ever again.”“Nor do I, honey, nor do I.”We were both silent for the rest of the journey. I’d been upset enough at her leaving at the time; I’d probably never fully understand what she’d had to go through, waiting for me to make my decision about whether or not I could accept her past, berating herself for risking what we had, while knowing that total honesty was the only sustainable choice of action.When she pulled up outside our borrowed beach house, I picked up her right hand and kissed it. “Mel, honey, I’m so sorry it took me quite so long to work out my feelings. Just so you know, I think you’re an incredibly awesome person, and I want to be so much more than just your friend and your lover, okay?”She unlocked her seat belt so she could rotate her body and kiss me on the lips; the emotional spark that flew between us gave me my answer.Our neighbors were grilling in their back yard; from the loud music and the laughter it sounded like the intoxication phase of the.
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