Actually, he does most of the talking, since my divorce from Carrie I have spent most of my non-teaching hours on Uncertain Trumpets: Operation Market-Garden, a critical study of the ill-fated Allied airborne assault on Holland in September 1944. Mark constantly chastises me for burying my nose in books, maps and archival photos. His advice, simply put, is this: “What you need, Jimmy boy, is to go to a bar, pick up some sweet young thing, and get laid.” “I’m not you, Mark,” I say wearily. “Don’t get me wrong, pal, I like the company of women. I like sex. But I’m not into one-night stands, cheap, meaningless liaisons – that sort of thing. It’s – empty, somehow.” “So you say, Jim,” Mark says, and I can almost see him smirk, even though he’s a thousand miles away. “But you’re not doing yourself any favors by sleeping alone every night.” And so it goes. At least, that is how it usually goes. But the phone call I received last Tuesday night did not go as usual. *** Mark always lets me. .. I detect… (gasp, gasp)... sarcasm…”“Noooo!” She said, sarcastically. “You need some water? I don’t have any Geritol...”“Hey you,” I teased. “I’m not above… (gasp) spanking you again! Just gimme a second.” I forced myself to calm down and dug my phone out of my pocket.“You calling someone?” Mel asked. “The EMTs, hopefully?”“Hush up, you! Show some respect for your elders!” I loved that she had a sense of humor. IF you're going to be with me, you better have one! I found the Pandora app and selected my George Benson channel. “Breezin” came on. A classic. Mel watched as I put on some awesome moves and began to strip to the soft beat and gentle guitar. “Okay,” Mel smiled at me. “Now I AM getting turned on! Nobody’s ever danced for me before, so if this is going to be some type of lap dance, you’d better let me get to my purse so I can pull out some singles!”I gave her the best strip show of her life, I’m sure. I threw in all the moves; Running Man, Shopping Cart, Sprinkler, Lawn Mower,.
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