Of course, my thesis was already accepted but . . . "Now don't make up your mind now. I want you to think about it. And, for God's sake, don't tell anyone -- I haven't been officially appointed yet."She walked on off to the Quad while I headed in the opposite direction for my car. It never occurred to me that she had totally evaded what I had gone to ask her of. As a matter of fact, I completely forgot the issue. Two months later I had the 'PhD' after my name. Not that it did me any favors. I continued my weekly visits to the school and waited for job offers. I didn't get any. Then it was announced that Susan would be taking over the running of the school and, sure to her word, I was offered her job. I took it. It was there. After six weeks Susan dropped in. "Why don't you move on campus? Not that it matters, but surely you get tired of the drive every day?" Yes, I did. But I replied, "Nah. It's no bother. I enjoy it. Besides, I like to crank up the stereo once in. .. haven't." Because..." She paused to make sure everyone was listening. "You don'tneed them if you're going to be with a blow-up doll." Oh no," he said proudly. "This time it won't be with my inflatablegirlfriend."There were giggles from several females and gruff laughter from a punk ina leather jacket. Alvin realized what a humiliating confession he hadjust made -- in public -- and blushed bright red.The saleswoman went on, "And you don't need condoms if you're justhumping your pillow."Still in a dither he said without thinking, "Oh no, Ma'am. I haven'tused my pillow since I got the rubber doll."He had done it again! No one bothered to suppress their laughter thistime. They howled and hooted. He cringed under the assault of merrimentand dug in his pocket for his wallet. He fumbled out some money andpaid. The clerk put eveything into a bag but didn't give it to him.She said, "I doubt that you'll have any luck getting to use thosecondoms. It's more likely that you'll.
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