Sally is what they call in Yiddish, “zaftig.” She is buxom, rather than fat, with large breasts, and a waist that is much thinner than her full, rounded hips. I liked to show her pictures of German beer maids to try to convince her that many men preferred women like her, but I was unconvincing, because boys did not ask her for dates. Her face is not as beautiful as her mother’s, but pretty in the same way, and with a shy smile that I wished she would show the world more often. Susan tried to get a boy friend to ask Sally to the senior prom. It did not work out. Susan went with another boy. At the dinner table, the night of her senior prom, Sally did not feel like talking. She ate quickly, and went to her bedroom, and closed the door. When I saw her several hours later, I could tell she had been crying. While this was happening, my marriage was crumbling around me. My wife was beautiful. When we got married I thought I was the luckiest. ”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”A.
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