Suicide was a mortal sin. For a priest it must be an immediate fall to Hell. His soul would be damned for an eternity! Frank was quite torn: he had half a mind to rejoice, and half a mind to mourn. He could do neither. He was numb with grief over the loss of his daughter, her fleeing to the west, and his impotence at bringing the priest to account. He feared he hovered on the verge of a mental breakdown. Nothing had prepared him for such rage and anguish and helplessness.Madeline felt no hesitation. Her fury was unbounded. Her child had been assaulted; her child had fled for her own protection. Father Bernard, the perpetrator, seemed untouchable, invincible. He was protected by law and church alike. She regarded his death as a gift from God, a gift that spared her from having to hunt him down and kill him herself. She understood her husband's immobility, but she did not share it. Given time, she would have stalked the priest and killed him. God spared her the effort; she was spared. Once, after the lead bully, a massive 14 year old rugby player, had threatened to beat me up for fun I had rushed to tell myfriend who walked straight to him and set the rule straight:"You touch my friend and I'll beat the crap out of you, understood?"That's all it took. As long as I didn't provoke the bullies and stayed a fair distance from them, I did not have to fear being beat up or mocked or whatever these mental cases were in the mood for. My savior however was pretty much a mental case himself with a sadistic streak in him, a carryover from a physically violent alcoholic father. In a cruel transfer for his protection he expected some right to assert his dominance over me and would hurt me for fun, increasing the physicalabuse whenever I attempted to rebel and face him down. He'd sometimes bring me to tears from pain and helplessness but somehow I felt better off than the 2 or 3 kids who were continuously at the mercy of the bullies.The third factor that contributed to my.
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