"I thought about that. Yes, I had known some Mothers and Sons who seemed to avoid the stiffness in their relationships that all my friends, me included, had developed with our own Moms. It seemed almost required, the way we had done it. You love your Mom unconditionally and completely when you're a k**. Then you hit puberty, and you start pulling away from her. By the time you're a man, you're so afraid of your feelings that you treat her like you can't stand to be around her."Mary, why does it have to be like that? Why can't Mothers and Sons evolve their love to include sex when the boy becomes a man? It seems like their love evolves to a point, and then the growth becomes stunted by the fear of sex, and withers away." Because we're all afraid, Bill. You're afraid of your Mom's anger. You're afraid of your Dad's anger. Your Mom is afraid that you might reject her. She's older, and she's afraid you would find her disgusting. She's afraid of being shamed. We're afraid of everything. We held hands as we slowly walked and talked. I started ‘Wanda and I were so in love back then, we both wanted children so badly. When we had none after 2 years we went to the doctors and they did all sorts of tests. It appeared the she was OK, I was the problem. My sperm were weak and did not swim as well as expected. Wanda felt betrayed, she was desperate to have children. As time progressed she kept telling me she would have her own children, one way or another. She became angry all the time, the insults she hurled in my direction were the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. We argued all the time about stupid things. I know how madly I was in love with her. She became a fanatic about having children. I was willing to do almost anything to keep her happy. The one thing I would not allow was for another man to impregnate her. She swore she would do it if she was not pregnant by the first of the year. That time had passed and she became even angrier.’ We had just arrived.
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