I expected to see bruising everywhere.But it isn’t my body that suffered the most. It’s my mind. The images planted in my brain this evening will probably never leave me. I just spent seven hours doing the most unimaginable things, or having them done to me. I was the only woman, the only white woman, in a room that sometimes seemed filled to capacity with those six large black boys attacking me over and over with their cocks and their hands and their teeth.It was my worst nightmare come to life and I didn’t think for a minute that the nightmare was over. They’ll undoubtedly want to do this to me again. They can do it every night if they want to. I can’t stop them. Doug can’t stop them. Only turning myself in and going to prison for a decade will put an end to it.My despair thickened when it occurred to me that as horrible as this evening had been, my humiliation had at least been in private. Tomorrow it will continue in public. I’m not certain that my sanity, or what little remains. One neighbour has made it clear, either Marie stops screaming or she has to be allowed to join in for her jollies. It’s very frustrating for her to hear Marie coming like that.”She says, “Oh, well, it won’t hurt for you to look. But make no offers.”“OK, and can you please make future calls about thirty or so minutes later.”She laughs,”I’ll try.”Hanging up the phone I get up and get Lisa’s number. I call and tell her about the call and my suspicions. She says she’ll have some one look into it. I say he may have the house under surveillance and she should take efforts not to be recognised when she visits. She agrees.I have a quick shower as Marie and Sarai go back to sleep. When dressed I rouse all four girls and send them to the showers, in pairs. Telling them breakfast in twenty minutes. Surprise, all four turn up washed and dressed in seventeen minutes. I start serving up the fried eggs and bacon with French toast.Marie smiles and is happy as she tells Sarai, “Now you know why we.
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