She had refused out of fear of rejection and fear of losing the only guaranteed love she would ever have. Isla remembered how her mother would cry when it was time for her and Taryn to go home to their dad. She never wanted to know that feeling of loss. She remembered how Sarina and Simone had been told by their father that their mother had left them. The reality was that Carter Maxon had taken them from her and blackmailed Denise into never contacting her girls again. That type of loss was not in Isla. She knew she would never be able to handle losing Ryan. Therefore, for no other reason than being scared of lonely, she never told Michael about Ryan. ‘Isla, I just want you to understand that I love Ryan. Finding out I am a father, has been the biggest shock of my life, but it has also given me the gift of loving someone other than myself. I love her, unconditionally. There is nothing that I wouldn’t give her or do to protect her. I don’t want you to think I don’t love her. My. After you make your way to your room I would slip into the hall bath so that I could hear the sounds form your room through the air conditioning ducts which connect to the master bath. I'd get so excited listening to the sounds of pleasure coming from you two. I couldn't always make out the talk but knew you were both enjoying yourselves. I couldn't even imagine all the different things you might be doing. Anyway, after you left I took a nice hot shower to relax myself. I did up my hair and even put on a little makeup. Then I headed right to mom's walk in closet so as not to waste any more precious time. I love dressing up in mom's clothes and pretending that I can be just like her. I've always wanted to be just like her (getting to dress up and go out with dad and do adult things) Even though I was 18 now I've always led a very sheltered life. Mom always went with me to buy all my clothes which were all very plain and conservative. Although I think I am very cute, I am also very shy.
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