Now, afterwards, they were just chatting."So, it's a boy?" Sophia asked."It's a boy," Jessie confirmed. "We had the ultrasound the other day." Any names being bandied about?" We've actually decided," Jessie told her."Jess was nice enough to agree to naming him after my grandfather, who died last year. So he'll be Seamus Killen," Ryan said."Seamus Warren Killen," Jessie smiled.Warren blinked at her. "Really? Wow. I'm honored." Well, it went well together," Jessie laughed. "It just popped out, and Ryan said, 'That would be cool.' So, Seamus Warren it is." Most excellent," Sophia said. She looked at Jess. "What are you, four months now?" Yeah." You're starting to show." Yup," Jess said with a grimace."Don't make a face," Sophie told her. "It's sexy. Very sexy." That's what I keep trying to tell her," Ryan laughed."In fact," Sophie teased, "if you're husband wasn't in the room I might have to attack you." Everyone cracked up at that."Don't worry about me, go for it anyway," Ryan. When he told me about his father and why he wasn't in John's life anymore, I'd felt the loss and pain of my husband's words, taken them to heart.That's why what I did with Bill was so mind twisting for me now. I had beaten myself up so many times wondering how I had been so stupidly and foolishly led astray by that man. I could come up with no reason... other than what I told John. Bill had made me feel beautiful, sexy and wanted. The sex we had, especially the way he 'took' what he wanted. Nice, yet firmly getting his desire.Even when I knew he had drugged me and made me pliable to his desires... by the time I realized what he had done, I had already been with him without the added 'help'... and that just made me feel I then had no right to protest. After all... I'd willingly been with Bill by then, so what difference did it really make?Now... I was alone, sad, and very lost. I'd felt used up before, not ever knowing exactly how that felt. I was on a thin line. Depression and.
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