But it's ok because I'm in heaven now, and if you didn't know, when you go to heaven god gives you you're very own universe to be the god of. God said i can do whatever i like in this new universe except inherently evil things(rape, murder, pedophilia, etc.). God also told me that the devil would put someone who went to hell in this same universe with me, and as punishment for their sins on earth, I would be able to do whatever I want to them, even including those inherently evil things…Afterwards I was plopped right into the middle of a forest, which looked like any forest you would find on earth. Except there was a floating screen in front of me that followed my eyes wherever i looked. On this floating screen i saw a long list of all the things I could do with my newfound god powers, a list that included basically anything you could ever dream of, want to eat all of the most luxurious foods that you could never afford on earth? want to have hot sex with a Hollywood actress or two?. Then she had to figure out which key on the ring of a hundred opened the lock. Then and only then could she pull the chain through several bikes to release the bike I wanted. All that shucking and jiving meant it would be a late lunch.The bike was an older six speed model, but hell Steve was in good shape, I thought. I paid thirty five bucks for the bike. I also insisted we stop by the local auto parts store for a can of bearing grease. I knew how to grease a wheel maybe even the wheel man I thought. Then I decided to stop thinking dirty though like that.When we got to the truck dealer, I had the bike in the bed of the truck. I'm not sure I looked like a serious biker or trucker at that point. Probably I just looked like a rube, ready for the shucking.The man who came out was at least sixty. He was dressed way to well for a small town car salesman. He was most likely one of the many people who lost their executive jobs due to the liberal's ideas about spreading the wealth. The best.
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