I resisted the urge to press it harder against her - too pervy. Finally, after her sobs had subsided, she pulled away from me, seemingly embarrassed. I said some reassuring words. She was still flushed and a bit shaky - she must have really been panicking. I reached for her hand, and gave her some more reassurances. She clung tightly to my hand and we walked back to the desks hand-in-hand. She was even more embarrassed in the light, open area. I decided a change of subject was needed, and got her talking about her forthcoming holiday to Brazil. She mentioned beaches and my mind went straight back to those bikini photos, enhanced by my recent memory of that fantastic body pressed against mine. Before my interest got too obvious I reluctantly turned back to my work. I realised I had forgotten to print one form. I told her I needed to go and collect the print, and saw the panic in her eyes, tears even began to well. So I suggested she could come with me. To save her embarrassment, I. ’ ‘So this is why? You were going to dump me because of this?’ ‘Listen. I know that seems silly, but…I don’t want to go through life with a partner I can’t have sex with. You don’t deserve that either. You turn me on so much I’m surprised you can’t see the steam coming out my ears at times. A relationship without sex just would not work. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.’ During the entire conversation, Steven’s finger was still inside me, gently probing. It was strangely arousing, contrasting strikingly with the depressing subject. It was entirely too surreal, and I couldn’t make heads or tails of my feelings. ‘Okay, but…surely there’s ways. I mean, there’s got to be positions where it doesn’t put pressure there. Angles that don’t hurt. Have you ever actually experimented with it?’ ‘Well, not exactly, but…’ ‘Let me guess. You’ve probably never even told any of your previous partners about this, never given them the chance.’ ‘I did tell one. We just…didn’t have sex much. We did.
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