The way I can switch from being confident, or nothing but putty in his hands is astounding. His coffee breath, his square front teeth, his scruffy facial hair, his thick glasses. I want to look up but I don’t want to look him in the eye. My senses are becoming overwhelmed. My face flushes an impossible red and my heart pumps so loud that I’m surprised he doesn’t mention the sound. “Want to do something fun?” he teases. One hand still on my clasped hands, he uses the other to lift a piece of stray hair from my face. We’re all made to believe this is love. He’s a vision, an absolute beauty. His hands are soft and his nails perfectly trimmed. His fingers are long and bony, yet have a very graceful elegance to them. He wears an old ring belonging to an old relative on his right index. More soft, perfect, unbroken skin. Compared to his, my hands are stubby and dirty, now that I realise. The skin around each and every one of my fingernails is torn. Some are even on the verge of bleeding.. ”I shook her hand and headed for the front of the office.“Mick make an appointment for next week before you leave.”“OK.”On the way out, I spoke to the receptionist and set a date for our next visit.“What is the appointment for?”“I don’t know, ask the doctor. She just said to make an appointment.”“I’ll ask her.”I walked back to the condo and met our neighbors coming out of the elevator.“Good afternoon.”“Good afternoon.”I got on the elevator wondering about the look they gave me. I got off the elevator and after opening the door I walked into the smell of coffee.“Kendi, I’m home.”My wife came out of the bedroom wearing a t-shirt and panties.“Hi Mick. Where have you been?”“I went for a walk.”“Me too. I thought that you were going to call me if I wasn’t home.”“I had a lot of thinking to do.”“Me too.”“What did you have to think about? All you have to deal with is a wife that loves you and let her hate for another man almost ruin her marriage. All you had to worry about was if I was.
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