To always make his dinner. To always kiss him goodnight even after he’d already rolled off my prone body and began to snore. To always, always, be. I visited therapists and even spent some time in a mental hospital, trying to fix myself. Trying to get better for him. To be worthy of him. To be good enough. I took the pills they gave me. I worked on my ‘coping skills’. We even visited a marriage counselor. I promised to be a good wife, to listen to him, to keep giving and never, ever stop. After childbearing I found the strain even more difficult. Firstly, my beauty was greatly diminished. Not just my body which everyone sees, but my most intimate areas were negatively affected. My perky breasts drooped, staring sadly at the ground. My nipples, which had been small and peony pink, became large and a depressing taupe. My tight, difficult to enter, vagina was loose, fistable even. My labia turned a brown the color of ruined meat, where they had once been a lovely rose pink. Where. M. His thoughts immediately flashed back to Wesley's e-mail. He had said that he was 15, about 5'10”, had long, light blonde hair, had gray eyes, and had a slender but slightly defined body. He had also included a picture of himself in the email (in which Wesley was shirtless and looked really hot) and said that he wanted to meet Jess. But now, Jess was unsure. Was he really ready to acknowledge to himself and everyone else that he was gay? Was he really ready to meet Wesley? And all the fallout that could follow? What would his parents think? Or would they still not pay attention to him? He sat thinking for a long time, turning things over in his head. Finally, Jess turned on his computer, opened his e-mail, and replied to Wesley. “I would like to meet you too”, Jess started. “Where do you live? I'm about five minutes from Wilmington.” He looked over his brief e-mail and thought it looked too short and tried to add more to it, but the words didn't feel right, so he just sent what he.
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