. it just is what it is! And in case you're wondering, I have, shall we say, 'experimented'. Physiologically and emotionally, there's nothing wrong with me, Alan: I have periods, and I love my mum and dad and my brother, and I like cuddles and intimacy, and if I see cute puppies I go 'Ah!' just like other girlies do! And I still cry when I'm sad and laugh when I'm happy! But I've never understood sexual attraction ... because I've never experienced it!" ... And as I said: I've experimented, sexually ... I'm not a virgin, Alan. I tried masturbation when all the other girls at school talked about it; but when I touched myself I felt something, but it wasn't pleasure ... just ... odd! I even bought myself a penis-shaped vibrator off of the Internet when I was fourteen, so I would know what it felt like to have something inside me; but I never had an orgasm using it! And then when I was sixteen I asked a close male friend to have sex with me ... and he did his best, bless him; but he came. It was too hot during the summer afternoons for me as well. There was hardly a breeze. I continued on down the coast.Soon I came upon Melaque. I stayed there a while. I fished and foraged in the fields. Nobody came to stop me as I scavenged from the lives of others long gone. I felt bad that I did not even know the faces of those who came before me.Nothing physical threatened me. It was only my own ill feelings that made me want to pick up and move on further down the coast. I came to Manzanillo, a strangely comforting place. I found a villa close to the city that I came to love. There was a well with an electric pump at the bottom of the shaft. I did my usual let's-make-a-generator-work magic so I had water. Everything fell together for me. I felt that this was the city in which I would live out my days. I set up a simple kitchen and wrestled all the big, useless equipment out the back door. Likewise all the rotting clothes, beds and bedding. I knocked together a simple wood frame.
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