If left alone by the elements for a time, the river turns its hand to the most glorious recreations of its surroundings. Far beyond human ability, the river is a dead set legend at the painting gig. Not much variety mind you, always paints a version of the same setting, but so damn good. And prolific. Just give it a bit of daylight and a break from the wind or rain, and it’s on the job early doors. Works all day too. Old man river artist is at the height of his powers today. Here the canvas is perhaps forty yards wide and long as you like. Maybe it’s more like fifty. These distances on water always fuck me up. I remember as a kid when Dessie (McNaughton) and I had tried to race across the river and back. Must have been about ten years old I guess, and it had seemed like a hell of a long way back then. Yes, must be more like fifty or sixty yards across. As I mentioned, as an artist, the river is a hard working old so and so. Today he has filled his canvas with images of the river. Throwing a dish towel at him Megan said, you'll have makeup and a wig on stupid. Makeup, Robert said with a shocked look on his face. Getting up Megan said you're the one desperate, and walked to the living room. Following Robert said, alright. I'll do it. Smiling Megan took his hand and said, come with me. Going into her room he sat on the bed as Megan went through her closet. After a few minutes she turned and pushed a dress in front of Robert. Perfect, she said. Robert laughed and said, I don't think it'll fit. Looking at him over her glasses Megan said, let's find out. Take off your clothes. Taking off his shirt Robert mumbled something about if anyone ever finds out. Get your pants off, Megan snapped. I don't have all day. As he pulled down his pants, Megan watched. You're going to need to shave your legs, she laughed. What, he exclaimed. You'll look like a gorilla with those hairy legs, Megan laughed. This is turning out worse than I thought he said to himself. Megan unzipped.
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