.. I don't know. Everything is going all crazy! It's like my fingers dialed your number, not me!"That's silly." Maybe. But I... I've been feeling a lot of strange drives lately. Really strange drives." What do you mean?"The wine came and she almost lost it when the waitress poured a partial glass for him to taste. Oh God, fill it, please hurry and fill it!"Oh God!" Oh God, what?" he asked. "What the hell is the matter with you?"What was the matter with her? The feeling of hollowness between her legs kept growing worse, like she could almost swallow him whole."William! William, I... I need help. I think I'm having some sort of awakening." Awakening? I don't get it. You mean like... the Dalai Lama or something? Nirvana?"She laughed, a little hysterically. "No, no, God, I wish! It's more like... Oh, this is so hard!"Hard, hardness, so very hard... She loved hard things."You called me, remember? What kind of awakening?" A sexual awakening. I think I'm having some sort of sexual. ’ ‘What about the trip? Is that still on?’ I looked away, because that would take me away for months, three at least. ‘Yes, it’s still a go. And Deb still wants to go, for some of it, at least.’ She nodded her head, her lip trembling. ‘I understand.’ ‘I think you and Lucy will be inseparable by the time we get back.’ ‘We already are, John. It’s kind of strange, but we really hit it off.’ I could only imagine. Deb again. Building her family. Always in control. ‘I‘m looking forward to getting to know her.’ ‘This has got to be so hard for you.’ ‘How so? I mean, what makes you say that?’ ‘Alone for so many years, then…this. Surrounded by women, and every one making demands on you — one way or another.’ ‘When it rains, it pours, I guess. But…’ ‘Don’t give up on me, John. On us…’ and now she was crying. I held her close, nothing else I could do, really. Words were inadequate to the moment, and the only thing left to do was to hold her ’til the moment passed. Actions speak louder than words,.
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