Well, that sure sucked.Ruthie left the counselor's office with a hand full of articles about the deformity in her brain that had totally messed up her existence and made her into the miserable person she was. She could tell that her counselor was extremely worried, but at that moment Ruthie didn't care. She left without saying goodbye or making any arrangements for their next session.It all made sense ... starting with Shannon and going back ... through all those rejections in high school ... middle school ... now it made sense. Everyone hated me because I'm such a fucking freak ... and I bet it wouldn't have been any better if I'd stayed in Nebraska... 'cause I would've been just as big a freak there too...Now she was convinced more than ever that she did not belong in the world. The sooner she smashed or blew apart her defective brain, the better. She thought about that path to the ocean ... the one that led to the cliff she always had in the back of her mind as her jumping-off. ”Around 3 she called me up – “Hey listen, since I’ve been missing you and you help me cover up can you come over this evening?”I accepted. My parents were usually out of town so I had plenty of time and nobody would care about me going to her place.I took a cab and reached her place. This girl is rich – I knew this but when I saw her residence I was completely shocked. It was a really huge house and in front there were 3 sports car – all mercedes.She welcomed me warmly, we sat down to chat about things and then we opened the books and started studying. Now all this time I had no feelings, but today she was kinda different – more open and she looked really hot in the shorts and t-shirt she was wearing. I couldn’t resist staring at her sometimes and plus I passed her sarcastic comments about her being hot and stuff.So somewhere I just wanted this girl to be mine, but then I lacked the confidence to ask her anything I maintained a safe distance. There was something between us and.
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