My soul is drained, and there’s nothing left to give. Nothing left to bolster my spirits but sheer will alone. I have the undesirable ability to shut down emotions. I try not to flip that switch, because it can’t be turned back on. I will take so much punishment before I do it, because if there’s any chance, any tiny .000001% of a chance that it will get better, I want to hang on. I’m tenacious. I don’t know how to give up. I refuse to believe I can’t fix things no matter how bad they get. But I’m learning that I can’t fix people. I can’t make someone feel things, or make them want to provide what I need. They either will, or they won’t. People are drawn to me. Men especially. But I’ve only met two people in my life who just did not like me, and that was okay, because I found them despicable anyway. They were not good people. They were not kind people, or even honest people. If a person has redeeming qualities, or is trying to become better, I respect that, and I give them credit. Main gaya aur unko peeche se hag karke bola: Kal raat bohut achhi neend aayi.Maa: Achhi baat hai, chalo tayyar ho jao,Main: Aaj man nahi kar rahaMaa: Kyun? Padhai likhai bohut zaruri hai.Main abhi bhi maa ke peeche hi khada tha. Maine peeche se unke boobs ko kas ke pakad liya.Maa: Ye kya kar raha hai badtameez? Chhod mujhe.Main: Maa, please aapki help chahiye.Maa: Beta, aise nahi karte. Main tumhari maa hun. Kal waise hi humne paap kar liya hai.Main: Haan toh ek paap aur karne do.Ye bol ker main maa ki nightly ke button khole aur unki nighty utar di. Woh bhi ab cooperate kar rahi thi par kuch nahi bol rahi thi. Ab woh sirf bra aur panty mein kitchen mein khadi thi. Maine apni chadi utari, unhe bola ki apni bra aur panty utar do.Maa ke haath-pair kaap rahe the, per unhone apni bra aur panty utar di. Fir maine apni chaddi utari, aur unko ghumaya taki unki peeth mere saamne thi. Unki peeth pe haath rakhker bola: Maa, thoda jhuk jao.Maa: Theek hai.Maa jhuki aur main ne phatafat unki.
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