My loneliness was a bottomless chasm that I didn't know how to bridge.I continued to work, but my heart wasn't in it.My daughter stepped up and did what she could for me. Her reward was that I treated her like dirt. Bless her! She still drove the three hours each way to come see me every week and later, every month. Her husband-a very nice guy, really-wasn't thrilled about being left with the kids so much, but he understood. Kris had always been close to me and could feel my hurt. She said she had to do whatever she could to help.Three years after my wife's death, I was finally able to come to terms with it. Kris saw the changes in me and started hinting, strongly, that I needed to get back into life. By that, she meant I needed to start dating and find some female companionship besides her. I just didn't know how somebody my age went about it. It had been an awfully long time... "But Kris, there aren't any women around here as good looking as you. Why would I settle for less?" I. She wrote letters to the restaurant and her sister, but that's about the only constructive things she was able to do.On Tuesday afternoon we drove to a neighboring town, ordered a new mattress and arranged to have it delivered to the apartment well before school was to start. Olli agreed to store my computer stand and footlocker for the summer and to accept the mattress when it was delivered.That night in bed she apologized when she noticed my erection. "I'm sorry, Sammy. Sleeping together may be a mistake. I know this is frustrating to you. It's torture for me too. You do understand, don't you, why getting to know each other, 'really well' is important to me?"I didn't understand at all but I told her that I did. How much better did we need to know each other? She must know that I'm not getting much sleep on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Every time she touches me, and she touches me often, it makes every nerve ending in my body jump. I try to anticipate her touches but it doesn't work..
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