Me and Ashley always had a code. We did not share interests. But I did some mental gymnastics, and told myself that this one did not count. They only went on one date, and never even touched. And I knew that Ashley was planning on never again speaking with the guy. So, inviting the guy in for water in no way felt like the sharing of interests.Brad walked in, and I shut the door—sliding in the deadbolt in the process. I tried to do so quietly, indiscreetly, but the deadbolt betrayed me. I was pretty sure my neighbors heard it slide home. I lifted my hand."The couch is right there," I said. "Why don't you have a seat while I get you your water. You said you were thirsty, right?" Thirsty?" Brad said. "Oh, right."He sat down on the couch, and I disappeared in the kitchen to draw him some water. He stared at me, as I walked into the living room."What are you staring at?" I asked, handing him the glass of water.Brad took a sip, and placed the glass on the coffee table. "Nothing. I just. . . Yes," I stammered, too shocked to lie. "They'rebeautiful. I can't believe it!" As she paid Cindy and we turned to go, she said, "By theway, I asked her to use a permanent set on the nails. You won'tbe able to remove them." I looked down at my hands in shock. How could you hidenails like that? What would I do at the end of the two weeks? Iknew enough about it to realize that even if I cut them off,they'd be unnaturally thick. "Let's go, Sheila, we've got plenty still to do. Now it'stime for some clothes shopping. With a gorgeous bod and sexyface like you have, we have to get you some 'hot' outfits tomatch." I slowly emerged from my state of shock, and wished Ihadn't. I was drawing even more attention now. The way men werestaring at me left no doubt as to their thoughts. I stayed asclose to Ellen as I could as she slowly toured store fronts. Our first stop was "The Body Shop." My wife had me try on countless outfits in the dressing room. It was.
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