OK? Are youwilling to do that?"I had a hard time imagining that Tracy would let me police her behavior.She was probably lying to her parents, though maybe, just maybe, she hadbeen persuaded to at least temporarily accept my role in watching overher. I guessed if she really did get out of control, I could always callup her parents and rat on her. "I don't know, mom," I said somewhatshakily."We realize that it's a great responsibility, Greg, but we wouldn't haveasked you if we didn't think that you were mature enough and old enoughto make sure Tracy does not abuse her parents trust in her."It was clear to me just how much my parents desired to go away withTracy's parents. That left me no choice except to say that I would doit. To decline, I'd need a reason and the only true reason I had wasthat I was afraid of Tracy having complete control over my life whilethe adults were away. What might she require me to do, knowing that shehad a full week as my custodian?***Christmas day, at noon. But I also don’t want her to feel like she’s nothing more than a receptacle when needed. It’s changed somehow. She started visiting me to help me out, not expecting anything in return. But now, with other options potentially open to me, it seems more like me helping her out. And I’m willing—I’m excited to do that. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have a basketball in your belly that keeps getting bigger every week.But when I touch that bump, rub lotion on her, caress her curves, I have such a feeling of tenderness toward her that I’m near tears. I always thought girl hormones made them moody and emotional while boy hormones just made a guy horny. Maybe it’s my ‘old soul’ that is so emotional as I think about how many things I’m still missing because I fail to see their importance.Tuesday, I did everything in my power to make Francie feel like a princess. Who came and came and came. I massaged her. I caressed her. I kissed her. And I did anything she wanted. Finally, I held.
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