He stood up, pull his shirt over his bearish chest, that I would have willingly massage for my pleasure, an said let’s go....we had dinner, daydreaming the whole time he would get drunk an say something that may suggest a way for his cock to get in my mouth. Never happened... I went back to my room, stroked my cock to young cds, like I once was, but as soon as I came across a mature daddy feeding a younger man his love juice, I melted an released a gallon of jizz on my chest...as it dripped down my sides, tickling my ribs, I thought, how long will this daydreaming an pretending go on!!! How long must I wait to be with a man, to feel the power of a hard cock on my lips, how long before I feel a masculine hand on the back of my head, how long until I hear his voice about me saying, “your doing good boy, your making me feel real good”. How much longer must I wait to feel a cock twitch on my tongue, feeding me the juice of all creation. I truly will not give up hope, but I sure hope it’s. Finally, I had reached a point where I wondered wheremy faith in God had gone, and having prayed to have this need taken fromme for years without an answer, I reached the conclusion I was a lostcause.This led me to having a scary moment where I had a bottle of pills onbed, and I was trying to figure out how many would kill me, since takingtoo many would just make me sick. After more than an hour of looking atthe pills and fighting my natural instinct to stay alive, I gave up, andput the pills back in their bottle, and shook with agony and grief untilI fell asleep.The next day, I went out to a quiet field behind my house, sat down, andlooked up in the sky.Then I started screaming.I shouted as loudly as I could, calling God every name I could think of,using more swear words in this speech than I had used in the sixteenyears previous. I think my idea was to get God so mad at me he'd do whatI couldnt do the night before and end my life.By the time I was finished speaking, I was hoarse.
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