Daddy was drunk, he had been all day as people came and went to celebrate my birthday, each brought a new toast to me and by the end of the day he had passed out, leaving me to put him to bed.I had chosen to live with my father since their divorce, and in some respects grew up quicker than most girls my age. I had started menstruating the previous year, perhaps brought on by stress, but my hormones and the changes in my body were evident, both physically and mentally, my staying with my father was straying into dangerous territory, more so as, I was starting to feel his need for me, and found myself responding to his cuddles and kisses.People often asked me why I let it happen, and I say, 'I grew up being drawn towards him', as if it was always going to happen. I was a beautiful girl turning into a woman, my hormones kept telling my body I had woman's needs, and when you live a solitary life with the only man in your life, you find yourself using your body to attract his attention,. .. He just couldn’t handle the thought that I might be thinking about a dog when I was with him ... So I came home, tail between my legs, as it were, and figured I had to put things right over here with my son – but it’s been difficult, he seems almost scared of me ... Like he can’t trust me anymore ... I really, really fucked that up.”We cut to a moment later, with her still going through her thought process, “I don’t know where the dog thing came from. I’ve always been turned on by them. My best friend when I was growing up, she had a big German Shepherd, and I was always turned on by him ... I used to think she had sex with him when no one was around ... And that turned me on. I wanted to ask her about it, to see if she did all the things I used to imagine, but I never had the nerve to ask...”“Now ... I figure if I’ve almost ruined my real life to be with a guy, and then my fantasy has ruined that ... So I may as well bloody live out my fantasy, and see what happens ... So tonight,.
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