“He said that mumble trap rap was better than old school hip hop.”“How dare he!” Stella pounded on the wood table. “Pan, you find the pitchforks, I'll light the torches.”“It wasn't simply what he said. It's who he said it to.”“Whom?” “His friends. Who I was trying to be cool with. But now I look like a dumb old lady.”Stella put her arm around my shoulder. “That's not fair.”“I know, right?”“You are our dumb, old lady.”I shrugged off her arm.“Okay, you are not dumb,” Stella clarified.I said nothing to my best friend.“Honey,” Pan asked with care, “is it important to you to make a favorable musical impression on the people your boyfriend hangs out with?”“When you put it that way, it sounds silly.” I looked across the room at Jacob, socializing in his lumberjack outfit, which he told me he purchased-- from the red flannel shirt to the tan hiking boots--solely to turn me on.“Don't beat yourself up,” Pan said. “It's okay to want them to like you.”“Is it, though?” Stella ate a cheesy nacho. " Did you go out with him, Aunt Jeannie?" I wanted to... ," she replied, her voice catching. Since it was dark, I had to wonder—could she be crying... "Did he ask you... ?" I asked, with a young boy's naivety."Yes... , he asked me—and I really wanted to go out with him—but Pop said no."Pop knew Keith was also interested in me. His family has money and that huge farm which he's supposed to inherit. Pop was just trying to look out for me... I guess."I couldn't see her in the darkness, but I could hear the poignant sadness in her voice, even though night had fallen and it was now pitch-dark."Josh... ," she whispered quietly. "If I tell you something will you promise me you'll never tell anyone—ever?" Come on... , Aunt Jeannie. You know you can trust me..."I said, feeling that special warmth a person feels when someone is about to entrust you with a special secret."Josh... ," she said, with her voice breaking, she took me into her confidence."The truth is, I was very much in love with.
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