I simply pushed it down into my subconscious where it stayed, waiting for a way to get me out of a situation I had willingly put myself in but couldn’t really handle. When Becky showed up at the conference and made herself available, I jumped at the chance. And then I came home and told you, right away. I told Bethany, Jennifer and Kara.”I paused for a moment to take a few breaths. Stephanie squeezed my hand again.“The thing was,” I sighed, “rather than solving my problem, it made it worse. If I had simply told you I wasn’t going to do it because I was afraid of how it would affect us, it probably would have been easier to deal with than the outright breaking of your trust. It was foolish of me and I made a grave error. I should have talked to you about it, and maybe we could have worked it out. Maybe I could have overcome my fears. Now, well, I’ve pretty much ruined everything.“The only thing I can do at this point, Squirt, is ask forgiveness from everyone. I’ve done that with Kara,. Never gave it another though. we hear we were getting a new boss no one had met him yet so when we got an invitation to meet him at his home Friday bout 7 we were kinda honor and excited. we arrive right on time my heart almost fell when he open the door he was the same black man we had stop from getting a house. He invited us in I think he knew right away but didn't say anything he got us a drank and had us sit then he said its been a while since we last saw one another he smile and said you still hate black people we couldn't say anything then he smile again I think we are going to change that. Then he brought this paper out like a contract it said that we were going into his personal training and would do what ever he said at all times and we want to do this to make us better people. Then he said i want both of you to sign it if you do training start tonight if you chose not to sign you will need to find another job. WE didn't know what to do but we knew we had to sign it. He had.
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