Through the judicious use of Internet newspaper obituaries, numbered bank accounts, mail services and really expensive lawyers I created a new identity as an American citizen. It's almost frightening how easy it actually is to insert yourself into the bureaucratic machine, and once you're in it just grinds away until your spit out with all the proper documentation on the other side. The beautiful part is all your paper is legal and incontrovertible. The bad part, I needed to live in the US, Atlanta, specifically. What the hell does Hotlanta mean anyways, I still don't get it? I had tossed around the idea of Maryland but ultimately passed. Employment with a publicly funded level four biohazard containment facility required enough background checks for me. I felt I would be pushing my luck to try to squeeze past first-contact protocol Army security checks. The simple fact is that private citizens are generally programmed to want to believe what someone tells them. The military retrains. I would pretend not to notice. Today was too much fun to spoil by going home early to put the house in order. I had a chicken ceasar salad. I didn’t have to cook the chicken. I didn’t have to buy, tear, wash or spin the lettuce. I didn’t have to measure the olive oil, crush the garlic, get out the measuring spoon for the lemon juice, measure the parmesan cheese and I didn’t have to coddle the egg. I didn’t have to clean all that up. My only responsibility was to eat it when it came. While I waited and while I ate it, I could people watch. It was wickedly delightful. After lunch, I made a few more window-shopping ‘purchases’ before heading home. I felt no disappointment at ending my reverie. The day had exceeded my most exorbitant expectations. I walked in the front door and the place was quiet. As surprising as that was, I was shocked when I looked at the floor. It had unmistakably been washed. Properly. Not just run over with a mop, but scrubbed where it was needed. Paul wasn’t.
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