We would spend the evening together, and you would humiliate me, punish me, and make love to me... I shuddered — only you knew my longing for pain, coupled with a need for love and affection, and only you could fulfil my yearnings so completely... I spent the day thinking about you, dearest, and all the things you'd done to me in the past, and wondering what you'd do to me in the future... I soaked in the bath, remembering how you'd dominated me even when you were a boy. You were ten when you came into my bedroom one night when I was undressing, and told me you wanted to see me with nothing on. I couldn't refuse you, and I let you see me naked, and I realised that I liked you staring at my body. Then you made me sit on the bed, and you took out your penis and made me fondle it, and you rubbed it against my face... And then, when you were twelve or thirteen, how you'd started to hold me roughly, and feel my body — I was powerless to stop you, and then the day came when you kissed me. I got a makeup consultant to come in and advise her. I was hoping that would persuade to not ever go back, but in the back of my mind, I knew she would have to see Austin on rare occasions. I asked Marlee to plan a party. I called my friends. Felicity called her friends. Some had gone black, and others were not. Sindi called all her friends new and old. We invited them to come over and meet Felicity. They began arriving early. Felicity's friends who were black-curious came first. Then my black friends arrived. I put on some loud music with a jungle rhythm. The booze was plentiful. Some were toking joints. Before long almost everyone was bare skinned. A table laid out with white lines was in the middle of the room. I told my girls to leave it alone. I saw Felicity kneeling down and sucking one of my friends. She was holding his ball sack like a treasure while her split tongue was wrapped round his shaft. Sindi was bent over getting a sensuous ass reaming. Marlee was on her back on.
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