That's how cops die or slide into a bottle. That's where I was until one of those chance intersections of lives pulled me out; one of those pitches life throws at you that you can decide to turn away from, or allow it to change you forever.A loss of that perspective, a loss of my ability to remember the magic in life and the accumulated weight of too many arrows and too much caring about them had led me to that hotel room in Seattle. I hadn't felt this bad in years and while I was in town to deliver a paper at a conference and had been well received, I didn't make much of a difference. I was at the point where I was counting days 'till retirement, a practice I'd always abhorred among public servants. That night I had showered, downed a vodka and tonic and was looking out the curtains of my room across the hotel's atrium. Years ago I would have looked out of that atrium and felt the hum of life: laughter, debate, pain, lust, love, joy and confusion, but in some kind of context that. Mary was tall and slim, had a fantastic ass but it was her legs that I loved, the sexiest pair of legs that I’d ever seen, or at least in my hometown. I’d heard through friends that she was interested in me as well. This was going to be the night I made a move on her.A group of us, Mary included decide to go to a friend’s house party. Mary instantly hit it off with another guy, let’s call him John, dashing my hopes for the time being. The party turned out to be pretty shit and by midnight had pretty much fizzled out. Mary and John invited some people back to hers to have a spliff or 2. Seven of us piled into a taxi and went to hers. We the all piled into Mary’s room so we didn’t wake her house mate up and passed the spliff round, I’m not a heavy smoker these days and it went straight to my head, one of my friends helped to the bathroom downstairs where I must have passed out.I woke up about an hour and a half later was a bit groggy but otherwise ok. I assumed that people were still.
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