A whole new world opened up to her.She told him Matt didn't exactly regret it. She didn't exactly; it had hurt Ryan, and that was what she wanted. But it wasn't like she had used him like that. Plus, she knew, he had gotten what he wanted. Maybe they had used each other? But I didn't use him, she thought. Just because we did it didn't mean I used him. It just happened, she thought, we both got pleasure out of it, and that's that.She pushed away any guilty feelings, telling herself that people had casual sex all the time, so why shouldn't she? Why should she have to deal with love all the time? Sex was a natural thing, and humans were animals, and animals did each other all the time without dealing with love.She could fuck Kasey of course, that would be okay. She felt so free; now that she was "single" she felt like she had been released from something, something which she kept telling herself was false and detrimental.He was different from Ryan, that's for certain. And he liked her. She would retrieve her belongings from her cousin’s house and spend the rest of her time in Paris with Aidan. She cautioned herself not to move too fast, not to be too optimistic. She couldn’t help it, though. Aidan had proven that he wanted her, without a doubt. And not just sexually. She had looked into his eyes, had fallen into those deep, dark blue eyes, and seen everything she needed to know there. She was sure he loved her. Or almost sure, the monster doubt reared its head. Stop it. You know it. You know him. He wouldn’t have come all this way if he didn’t love me, she told herself. Right? Ignoring the doubt that had constantly undermined her, she told herself that this time would be different. They hadn’t talked yet, but she would make sure that they did as soon as she saw him again in less than an hour. She hadn’t told him that she loved him, hadn’t pitched her plan on how they would be able to continue their relationship. But, she was sure he’d agree to it. Especially, after.
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