" That's beside the point," I shouted at him."Nope, it is the point." He took hold of my shoulder in a brotherly way. "You're going nuts. A little bit of Rhonda will help settle you down and get the edge off." Or get a case of fugacious genitalia," I said snidely.The argument began after he returned from the dictionary. It continued for most of the night. In the end, we compromised. He really needed me there as moral support, not because he was worried about my developing blue balls. He worried about that, too, but he was happy that I agree to come along without actually participating in the orgy. I was glad to get him off my back even if it meant my watching a few hundred men assembly line fuck a woman with more plastic in her than woman.Things were done with more class than I would have thought given my general impression of such things. The beer was something other than "Cheap Local Lager" even if it was 'merician. The stuff I was drinking could have almost passed as real beer,. .. I didn't like her very much. She always had to win, no matter what.Something woke me up, but I didn't know what until I heard a muffled thumping noise coming from downstairs. I glanced at my alarm clock and it was the middle of the night, 2:13am and I thought it might be Mrs. Hemming at first. I heard another thump, or a slam, more like, and it had to be the front door.I got up, wearing just my chili pepper boxers, and wondering what was going on. I peeked into the guest room and found Mrs. Hemming snoring happily on the bed. I pulled the door shut and turned around just in time to have a heart attack."Dad!" I blinked at him."Hey," he said, smiling dumbly. He wagged a finger at me and giggled. "Don't drink tequila." Uh..." My father was drunk?"I'm going to bed." He walked sorta sideways, leaning against the wall and waving at me over his shoulder.I could smell the alcohol on his breath, although he didn't look terrible. His hair was still combed, his suit didn't look all rumpled.
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