She adored Micah and his image rose inher mind. He was tall for his age, about her height. Hehad the African features of his father and the gentlepersonality and inquisitive intellect of his mother.With the slight build of a young teen he was quitehandsome. “Look,” Alice began “Micah’s birthday is in a month.Between now and then be a little more intimate with himand see how you feel. You could be his birthdaypresent.”We made love that night and Debbie was incrediblypassionate. Afterward I said, “You were especiallyaggressive tonight. Were you thinking about Micah?”“Hmmm yes,” she murmured gazing at nothing.“What were you thinking?” I asked encouraging her tosay more.“I was imagining me in your fantasy.”Curious I said, “Oh?”She turned away to sleep. Moments passed and then in awhisper she asked “and in your fantasy do I getpregnant?” Sleep for me was a long time coming as Iconsidered. I hate you. Fine. Freddie, I love you and I miss you, and to be honest, if I could, I would be with you right now. And I hate that feeling. That's the worst part. I easily slip from wanting to ravage you to wanting to set you on fire on a daily basis.-…-On. Fire. But I just want you to know that when you're ready to make that decision I will be waiting.-See... that's the problem, Jade. I don't want you to be. I want you to date and be happy and live your life and not wait on me to get my shit together. If we are meant to be, we will. But knowing that you're out there waiting for me would just be unfair. You can't very well spend your life waiting on your life's falling pieces to find the right places. And believe me, the want for some ravaging is mutual whenever I think about you.-Sorry babe, but we are circling the pyro portion of my feelings right now.-Fair enough. I gotta get to sl*ep; lots of homework to deal with, but I will talk to you later.-Bye.And just like that, after two.
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