It was maddening, whenever I felt I just might be dropping off, this thought would re-emerge to the forefront of my consciousness like a line from a song that you can't get rid of. 'He's alive! He's got to be alive!' To this day, I have no idea from whence this conviction had come. It was a certainty, as irrefutable as the dawn. Angela's father was at the bottom of this. I didn't know who had died in Gothenburg wearing his identity but I knew we would find no answers there. He'd covered his tracks well enough to fool British Intelligence and we weren't in their league.I tried to think of something else, something dull and neutral, like tax, but it didn't work. When I eventually fell asleep it was through sheer exhaustion. I woke several times during that night. Once I heard a muttered exchange as Liam relieved Niall on watch and felt guilty. I ought to be taking my turn. Then I felt guilty that, if I did so, Angela would be left alone. I salved my conscience with the thought that I. . she reminded you of a child you never had, because of Popova." Yes, because of Popova." (5)"We understand Sveta, we understand. Did you know Popova had cancer? She was trying to build her own memorial, so to speak. I think she lost objectivity, too. Vyera was a very unlucky coincidence and..." And when Vyera proved to be such a nice person, I suppose I began to think of her as much more than ... well much more than just another of Anatoly's 'special employees'." I know, I know." So I decided I had to do something good. Just for the sake of someone else. To make them happy first before I thought of my own interests. To actually show that I was grateful for all life had given me, in the end. Anatoly. Alana. Dmitry. All the material blessings we enjoy. How strange it is that in being good, I seem to have caused so much chaos!" Now Svetlana Nikitechna: courage. Out of chaos came creation. A creative approach. Is what we require. I think the key here is to be yet more generous. Did you.
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