I could feel a little bit of his sweat and a hint of his cologne but his smell was there and it was so strong that it made me feel whole at every deep breath that I took. I think I might be addicted to him.We decided to watch a horror movie tonight. It's a movie Jake has been meaning to watch for a while and I comply even if I'm not into this sort of genre. I keep holding on to Jake's arms all throughout the movie and covering my eyes with them during the scariest parts. Jake can't help but chuckle every once in a while which makes me feel embarrassed. When the movie ends, Jake gets up to head to bed and places a kiss on my forehead as if to wish goodnight to find a pouty son with puppy dog eyes still embarrassed that a movie got him this scared. Jake stops and holds my face in his hands and asks:"What's the matter kiddo?" I'm scared" I mumble."Awww, I didn't know you'd be this sensitive to this kind of movie. I promise I won't watch them anymore with you. Are you gonna be OK?". This happens when hormones are being taken. This time, I felt sparky when he touched me on my shoulder, or hip. I tried to ignore, but couldn't deny I was feeling emotional towards him. He reached for my hand as we were walking through a parking lot, and I found myself smiling and looking into his eyes. I felt healthy, and happy. I hadn't felt this way in a long time. So Sunday evening we were sitting on his couch watching TV, and talking. He was showing me his photo album, and we were sitting against each other. We found ourselves looking into each others eyes smiling again. He stole a kiss. I submitted and kissed him back. We kissed some more. I left. My heart was doing flips going home. I finally arrived home. I went right inside, and turned on my computer. I began a search of HIV patients, and what "non detectable load" means. It meant I was highly unlikely to catch it. I was feeling so naughty. All those nights I woke up alone feeling so hot to reach into my.
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