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He only snuggled against me and softly sobbed. I went on, You know that if we did and anyone ever found out I could go to prison and we could never see each other again. Im sorry mom, he sobbed, I wont say anything more. No, you have scared him off, my inner self screamed at me. Im sorry too sweetie cause&hellip, I hesitated wondering if I should tell him but my inner self shouted, tell him! Because I want to have sex with you. I felt him stiffen in my arms. I told my inner self that I would never listen to her again and then my son drew away and looked me in the eyes and asked, Really mommy? Looking into Timmys blue eyes made me fearful that this was going out of control. At last I said, No one can ever know. I know mom, he said as he wiped tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. You cant even tell your best friend. No one&hellip,not anybody can ever know, I insisted. I wont tell anyone, I promise, he said as he snuggled once again into my arms. I thought about the many times. But she was at the heart of his home, his domestic happiness. She might never know of it, if he did chuck out a favour to a stranger like one of the piles and piles of kerchiefs he had in his drawers. She would probably even forgive it him, she was a rational mind and would understand if he said: I was far from home and from you, I was lonely. But he would never forgive himself for soiling that honour that had been bestowed on him to hold at his heart, the shining bright chastity of his storming intelligent beauty whose happiness he had come to care about so much. He put his hand to his eyes and the tears slid slowly through his fingers. After a few minutes he fetched a big sigh and wiped them away and sat on there, staring sulkily into the sullen fire. The prostitute was coming back to Clair with his food, still smiling that lovely smile that curled up to eyes that were the same colour as Arkyll’s. He smiled mechanically back at her, pouring a bowl of wine for himself. She saw.
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