But I did like I was told, and headed overto the shoe department. When my heels clicked on the tile floor of thestore aisle, I fell into a very comfortable walk, conscious of posture andpoise, and smiling at all the other shoppers.The clerk in the shoe department watched me walk up, greeted me, lookeddown at my shoes and recognizing them as one of her models, then looked atme again a little startled, "Oh, hi," she said, "I didn't recognize you atfirst. Welcome back!" She smiled at me, and I smiled at her, and we hada pleasant bit of chatter. Then, "my mom's in the store," I said, "andshe wants to get me a pair of 'every day' heels, she says." "Oh, okay,"the clerk acknowledged, "something sturdy and comfortable, I think, withnot too high of heels." I nodded, and she led me to a table and startedshowing some models.We picked out three pair, and the clerk, remembering my size, went in backto find them. I continued looking at different shoes and styles,imagining myself in them,. But then again Irestrained myself as there were still the total assholes of the worldat school who would make my life miserable. Becky had suggested that Igo out on a test date with Kevin before the prom...but Mom put the nixto that. Even Dr. Bell was a little worried that my 'persona' wasadvancing a little too fast. She cautioned me to be careful in public,even thought I passed with no problem as a teenage girl. She justwanted my to avoid any long-term concept of dating as she felt I wasdefinitely not ready for the emotional rollercoaster. Wanting to pleaseMom who had been so great to date and play the game with my therapist Iabided by their suggestions. The prom would be my first date. The firstof many things to come. At least I was going to a prom - not my schoolof course - but at least a prom...as a girl.The day before the prom was prep time!!! Mom had me take the day offfrom school to get me ready even a whole day before!! To the salon fornails. New acrylics for the weekend..
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