Mom said she wanted to talk and that she couldn’t sleep because she was worried about me.“You seemed more depressed than usual and that left me thinking,” she said, touching my arm. I twitched a bit because she didn’t really touch me very often.“I’m fine, mom. Nothing new about this,” I assured her, as if I hadn’t been crying into my pillow just moments earlier. She sighed and I let her hold and caress my hand for a while before she left after she understood I didn’t want to tell her anything more.I didn’t think much about that until she was there again a few weeks later. At least she knocked this time and avoided surprising me. I had not fallen asleep yet anyway, I was just reading on my Kindle. Mom kneeled next to the bed and lightly brushed my cheek with her fingers. I twitched away nervously, dropping the Kindle. Luckily it only fell on the mattress and not the floor. Those things were overpriced and broke easily. I guess I shouldn’t have reacted so nervously, but my mother. It’s something a warrior can live by. At least, a human warrior. But for you, that mindset is just a temporary measure, isn’t it? You tell us to draw strength from our guilt, to find resolve in the fact that there is no going back, but there is a limit to the sins we can carry before they lose all meaning and individuality. Memories and consequences can’t follow you forever.”“‘Even the greatest mountain can only bear so much snow before the inevitable avalanche.’ Is that what you’re trying to say? You think that because I am immortal, I’ve lost the ability to feel remorse the way humans do. You aren’t the first person to make this mistake about the elves. To feel the weight of a human life, to know what it is worth, even if I am ending it, keeps me tied to the moment. To see value in people is what allows me to live among them.”“So you do have to remind yourself, right? You know what it’s like to force yourself to feel guilt, to find meaning to the lives of your victims, even if they.
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