Sandalwood?" Well..."Then she punched his arm, catching him by surprise. He winced."Who is she?" Um..." You have had coitus recently, and not with Christy." I..." Men are such pigs! I thought you loved her. She will be crushed!"Kyle was surprised by Britney's vehemence. She never had been happy that he was dating Christy, though he never pried the why out of his friend. This reaction caught him completely off guard. "It's not like that. She's..." My wife, he wanted to say. A thousand-year-old genie whom I inadvertently married when I used her lamp to burn incense. Dammit, if I can't tell my best friend, then whom do I talk to about it? "She's my wife."Her hand froze; her big eyes blinked behind her thick glasses. "What?" You know my mom's Kurdish. It's one of those, uh, arranged marriages." So you engaged in coitus with her?" Do you have to call it that?" he asked. It made him feel so dirty when she used that word."Coitus? It is the proper term." Fine, I had coitus with her. A few. Give him the written test,” she said.“He should study before taking the test,” he said.“Give him the test,” she said.The patrolman looked to me with a questioning look and asked, “You ready for the test?”“Sure,” I said. I figured if I did not agree with mother it would be hard to live with her.I took the written test and passed it. Mother purchased my learner’s permit and I then took my driver’s test and passed it. Mother’s parting words to the patrolman were, “I only started teaching him a few days ago. See what a good teacher I am.”On the way home, she said, “From now on, on Friday you will take me to work in the morning and use the car to drive to school. Then you will pick me up after work. Okay?”“Okay,” I said, realizing she had done this so that she might be able to avoid drinking.The next Friday when I picked her up after work, she decided we would go out to dinner. We went home and dressed in our best clothes. We went to a very nice place to eat. The waiter asked.
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