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Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal bleeding, and I vas able to remove all da buckshot."What's the bad news?", asks Lyle."The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started. " You chuckle.I gasp at your words, but know this is what the audience wants. I stay still and grit my teeth. Your hand comes down like fire over and over again, fast and hard. You don't give any time to react between the blows. I am kicking, screaming, moaning in both pleasure and pain at the same time. My body doesn't know what to think. You are holding my legs down with your leg, and have your free hand on my upper back to keep me from coming up off your lap."Calm, little one," you say in a soothing voice. "We are only just getting started."The audience can't take their eyes off me, wondering what's going to happen next. Heck, I'm wondering the same thing. My breathing begins to slow a little, and you stand me up off your lap and lead me by the hand over to the turn table which was only ten feet away. You have yet to use this on me, so I'm not sure what to expect. The table is upright to where I will be standing up to get on it, but it's slightly slanted so I won't slide off of.
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