Maybe he’s stopped and that’s why I didn’t notice anything.I thought about Dan. It had never occurred to me that Dan had worked harder at school just to stay ahead of us. I remembered any number of conversations about Dan’s homework that Dad had joined into. I had always thought that Dad was joining in because he wanted to. The Bec from way back then had never noticed that Dad was rescuing Dan from questions he couldn’t answer. I guess it never occurred to the younger Bec that there might be stuff Dan didn’t know about.I still sometimes have those sorts of conversations with Dan. I get him to explain what he’s learning about. I think Dad over-estimates how much I understand. I don’t always understand everything. I like spending time with Dan and talking about his school is a way of doing that.Peter’s Notebook (continued)Throughout the evening Bec clung to my hand. Tara saw what was going on and soon I had a barnacle attached to each side of me. I can’t tell you whether Tara picked up. " Fuck! Fuck! Oh fuck!" I heard myself say. "You're too big for me." I remembered Peter's words but not my own. I couldn't believe I had been so vocal. I didn't realize I talked so openly about being violated."That's what they all say at first," Peter answered my objection. "But don't worry! You'll stretch out plenty."I not only talked, but I could hear myself moaning and panting as well. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck!" I cried between breaths. "How far now? Are you almost in?" Relax Stephenie. Now it gets easier." Oh Peter, is that really me?" I asked in real life to the man sitting along side me. "Why didn't you tell me to shut up?" Because I liked your vocalizations," He answered. "Don't you see, they were perfect for the camera."They certainly were, I thought to myself.His leg brushed up against my bare thigh, reminding me that I wasn't wearing any clothing below my chest. I remembered I was bottomless. Peter asked me to stay that way. He said that if I left my lower half exposed it might get.
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