Press the domed elevator button. Tap my toes inside my shoes, trying not to show outward impatience despite being so close to having you in my grasp. I spin my wedding ring with the thumb of the same hand, wondering at what moment the unbroken circle of trust I pledged became skewed. How it's possible to love two very different women at the same time, with the same intensity, for two very different reasons.When the lift pings and we step in, there's a well-dressed lady inside, all Armani, designer glasses and heels. I pray she can't hear my heartbeat thudding in the confined box. My hand grips yours. We want nothing more than to crush our lips together and fill the mirrored space with breathless panting and the heat of desire, but we have to wait. Four agonising floors in the world's slowest lift until the woman steps out. Until we're alone.The moment the doors slide shut you're on me. Kissing. Clutching. Sighing. I know the unblinking eye of the security camera is there, but fuck. Susan shook her head to show Ben her agreement, and tried to say "no"as she swallowed a slimy, small lump of her own shit.As she moved her face to another muddy puddle of shit-juice andcigarette ash, Susan licked at it with her tongue and heard Ben add,"Perhaps you'll remember to clean yourself out before you get fuckednext time?" he chided, and she again nodded her head in agreement."Right, slag!" she heard him say, "I'm off to bed. See you tomorrow!"Susan heard his stocking feet pad quietly away from her and out of thekitchen. She looked up but Ben had already gone.She sat back on her heels and thought indignantly, "Bastard! He didn'teven kiss me goodnight!" but then realised why he hadn't, as she tastedthe shit and cigarette ash which coated her tongue. She gathered salivain her mouth and swallowed trying to get rid of the foul taste beforeshe resumed her prone posture and continued to clean the kitchen floorwith her tongue.Satisfied that she had cleaned up all her cigarette ash.
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