I sat on the rocking chair on my porch, bundled up in my oversized pendleton blanket and nothing else. Wood was split and stacked for the next season if necessary. Satellite was tuned and cleaned, with a line of sight to the stars cleared by me the previous summer. Generator serviced, wired, fueled up,and ready to rock. And I had a cupboard full of preserved meats and vegetables, cabinet full of booze, mason jars full of herb, a few other odds and ends, and a handful of half-full Canadian whiskey in my hand. The metal awning I had installed over the porch this summer was serving well, and I was quite comfortable, stoned, buzzed, and listening to Dylan play through the screen door.I was more than a little surprised to see a set of headlights cutting through the snow from the foot of my long driveway. Through a couple hundred yards of snow and pine trees, I recognized a white 4x4 suv coming up. Nobody I knew off the top of my head so, just to be safe, I squirted into the cabin and. She went on. “It has really good v-vibrations.” What? This was definitely getting weird. And now she was blushing! As if she didn’t want to say what she was saying, but had to for some reason. It seemed as though she was waiting for a reply, so Bird stammered out, “That’s, uh… That’s nice. Glad you like it,” as he handed her the receipt.Blushing even more deeply she suddenly leaned forward and said, “ Do you hear some kind of humming sound?” She stared into his eyes as if his answer was extremely important. She was biting her lower lip even harder than before.Okay, this was nuts. Bird wanted this woman to go away and then he wanted to go eat his lunch. He started to shake his head and say something like, no, sorry, but thanks for shopping at Walmart. But then he heard it: a low buzzing sound, kind of like his electric shaver.He swiveled his head slowly, narrowing his eyes as he tried to pinpoint the source. And found himself staring directly at the front of her skirt..
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