It is the non-ending extension of life, the ultimate example of 'two-becoming-one.'Granted Martha and I were long past child bearing ages, but when she denied sex to me, she was telling me that she no longer desired that union, that there was something about me that she no longer wanted or needed. And that is about as bruising to a mans ego, self-esteem, whatever you want to call it, as anything I could imagine.In addition, I found myself feeling humiliated at begging my wife for sex, only to be told no, as if it was some sort of privilege to which I was unworthy. That I was debasing myself to approach her as some sort of supplicant.Sex between two people provides another vitally important benefit as well.It is hard for two people to live together for extended periods, under any circumstances. That's why when marriages last for thirty- or forty- or fifty- years or more, it seems so astonishing. There are inevitable frictions in everyday life, disagreements over who should do what. Lisa and James had just moved next door. They seemed really nice. He was in sales, industrial machinery, very successful, but on the road a fair bit. She was a stay-at-home mom, but didn’t look like one. She actually looked like a porn star, lithe with big, firm boobs. Not as big as mine, but big. And he was quite attractive too, with a lean, firm body. He told me he kept in shape by frequenting hotel gyms when he was on the road. Their kids were the same age as mine, so I was really happy they moved in next door.So, I was really looking forward to an evening out without the kids, and I was glad that when I showed up next door I found out that their two kids, Rachel and Matt, were out. It was just the three of us adults.I’m a chatty person, and Lisa is easy to talk to, so that evening I found myself opening up to her. For his part, James didn’t say all that much, but he was a good listener. I told them all about the divorce. At first, I tried not to, saying that they didn’t want to.
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