Though it seems vaguely incomplete, like always, the knife edge of my raging, burning want has been blunted just enough, so I can drift off to sleep. The next morning, I drive to the conference centre. I still can’t make up my mind whether I want him to be there or not… and the tension of not knowing had me nursing a travel mug of tea on the way in, my stomach not up to anything else. As I enter the auditorium, once more smiling and greeting familiar faces, I find a place to sit. I spend a few anxious minutes tapping my pen on my thigh, when the conference coordinator finally comes in the room, to get things underway. She is followed by her half dozen or so instructors… and my stomach clenches. He isn’t one of them. In a strange way, I’m relieved. Now I can totally concentrate on the conference and not on a preoccupation that has turned into an obsession. After a productive morning, a few of my colleagues and I head to a small local pub for lunch. We’re laughing, talking about our. “You’re getting all messy,” he said, watching the ice creamroll down the side of the cone onto her hand. “Maybe it’s too much foryou to handle.” “Too much for me to handle?” She raised an eyebrow at that.Twisting the cone in her hand, she looked it over carefully. “I thinkI’ve handled bigger,” she said, a wicked note creeping into her voice.Pressing her tongue flat against the ice cream, she licked straight upthe ice cream, her eyes half closed. Repeating the motion, she workedher way around the cone, then captured the offending drip with a tipof her tongue. His eyes were glued to her every movement, and he swallowedhard when she stopped and looked at him. “If I apologize now,” hesaid, “will you stop?” Her only answer was a soft smile. Rubbing the ice creamagainst her lips, she captured the tip of the ice cream, suckingmomentarily before she began licking again. Up and down, around thecone,.
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