His wife Barb answered the door. ‘Hi, Jeff,’ she said, smiling until she saw the anger etched on my face. ‘Can I see Phil? Sorry, Barb, but this is big time and bad news,’ I said through clenched teeth. ‘Uh, yeah, Jeff, come in, sit down.’ She ushered me in and left to get Phil. It was all I could do not to trash the living room, but Barb had had nothing to do with this. Phil came in, looking surprised. ‘Hey, buddy, what’s the haps?’ I grabbed him by the throat and said,’What the FUCK did you say to Connie?’ Barb was on me in a flash, pulling me back. Phil went down in a heap, and rose to his knees. ‘I don’t understand,’ he said, lamely. ‘BULLSHIT!’ I thundered. Everyone in the house could hear. ‘You told her I fucked her Thursday night. I never told you ANY SUCH THING, you bastard!’ Barb calmed down the growing crowd — there was apparently a family party going on, thanks to my great timing — and said, ‘Jeff, that’s not true. You know it.’ ‘Then why did she just throw me out of her. A particular memory came to mind as vivid as anything I'd ever recalled. Depression ran in our family and I believe she and I both, being advanced for our ages, when we were kids, both started feeling it early on.There was one winter afternoon where it was just us in her house, aunt was at work till evening and it was just her and me. We were not to leave the house and that day it was an unnecessary rule. She'd been feeling particularly down, so we laid on the couch together the same as we were now, both of our attentions between the Disney show run that day and the snow outside. She fell asleep on top of me that day and I remembered holding her while she did for the day's entirety. It felt so good for her to feel as though she could rely on me and knew how much of a hold on me she'd had, how much I adored her.I laid still now, just holding the moment, reality making its unfortunate and imminent return known by the increasing light from the window. Reminiscing and feeling her breathe.
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