She started to go through the usual physical examination routine (ears, eyes, throat, etc), being close to me as she did all this, although I tried not to focus on her. She maintained a completely professional manner and tone of voice.The moment I had been a little concerned about finally arrived when she told me to lie down on the table. She said "I'm going to examine your testicles", but she said it in such a tone of voice, as if she were looking at slides in a lab, that it didn't phase me. I tried to blank out my mind and disassociate my consciousness from what was happening. She lifted the gown and began feeling my testicles with her fingers. It wasn't a big deal, and it didn't feel much different from when my regular doctor did it. Men tend to have a greater sexual response to visual stimulation, so I was safe so long as I stared up at the ceiling and kept my mind off certain topics. She placed two fingers between my ball sack and my leg and matter-of-factly instructed me to. Itwas like a light came on inside." Well! I always wanted a daughter, and now it looks like I'm going tohave one!"Mom hugged me, and we went home. Not having any impediment between mylegs felt so different, but it did make it easier for me to sit withmy knees together, and not have something hurt. However, when we gothome mom made me go to my room where I got the most embarrassinglecture on how to keep myself clean, and mom was adamant about it. Shetold me that I could catch all sorts of things if I did not stayclean, then she watched me as I did what she told me. I asked mom notto tell Dad or Ken and she agreed. For the next three days I designedmore skirts and dresses, but spent some time at my jewelry bench. Ienjoyed that the most, and spent one whole day just making things formyself. I also got used to my new shape, having to use the bath and soon. I got better at doing my own makeup and hair, and managed tofigure out the bra after a few days. But it was what I saw in themirror.
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