I really don't care about that and I don't know why it came to mind. I know that you're very experienced. It's part of what I find so sexy about you.You look up at me, smiling, and I smile back, happy that I was able to perform this most basic of masculine tasks. I pull you back up and hesitate only briefly before I kiss you. I don't taste that great, but it's ok and I want to give my thanks for easing me through this much delayed rite of manhood."Let's go upstairs," I say as I pull you to your feet. You bring your shirt and bra with you and I enjoy watching you walk topless to the bedroom. I have to hold my pants up with one hand. The bed is bare except for a couple of pillows. We both knew where this was going to end up and I got ready for it. It's dim, the blinds drawn, and part of me wishes that I'd lit candles. I like the dim light; it reminds me of last time.You don't even turn around, just crawl onto the bed and begin undoing your pants. I stop you and take over, kneeling over. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but the nurse from the room smiled a sly smile at me while all here friends stared at the ground awkwardly while I passed.Roger died about a week latter. I decided I should go to the funeral to support Cassandra. I was really nervous about it and asked my husband to go with me. Cassandra goes to an all black church and I have never been to one. I grew up in a town where there are few black people accept in the bad part of town. I have only known one or two blacks my whole life. Cassandra is the only one I have ever really talked to. My husband likes Cassandra too and he agreed we should go together to support her.We arrived at the church early but it was already full. The church was a lot smaller than the one I attend but black men and women and even c***dren were packed into every available space. It didn’t seem like there was anywhere left to sit. My husband and I weren’t sure what we should do. I thought maybe we should leave.
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