I mean,Mother helped, but I picked those rhumba panties and the petti-pants. I'mthe one that initiated the sex with Jack.When we got home, I did the same thing I'd done before. I went straight tomy bedroom and cried.There was a message on my answer machine. Jack was inviting me out again.I didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't want to seem rude so I calledand declined on the date. I told him I needed some time. I hoped heunderstood. I felt like such a slut. I felt like I was tricked into anovernight trip with him and didn't know how I wanted to proceed. Thishomosexual thing was like a punch in the gut. I looked around my room andbecame even more depressed. It was all pink and girlish. I've kept tellingmyself that I'm not a girl, yet here I was, wearing a skirt and blouse,crying on my bed in a room totally decorated like any girl my age wouldhave decorated. And I like the color. I real boy would never dream ofliving in a girl's room. I liked the pink waste basket, and the. ‘The fight against dust is hard and eternal,’ he said. ‘You seem to be on the winning side,’ commented Zoa, who hadn’t seen a speck of dust anywhere in the library. ‘We never relent,’ said the librarian, took his plate to a shelf and pushed it under a gold sheet. He carried both to Zoa’s table, pushed it into the glassbox, and sealed the box. ‘You may touch the glass, but you may not touch the gold,’ he instructed. Zoa eyed the gold sheet. On it was carved diagrams of a spider’s body seen from several sides, arrows pointed to specific spots. The weak spots, guessed Zoa. ‘You will not need to study the records of single murderous spiders to learn how to slay the one you are after,’ said the librarian. ‘Exterminating the spiders in the first place was far from easy. Their speed is uncanny and their armour is thick.’ Zoa nodded, she had seen that with her own eyes. ‘The seventeenth Emperor had to find ways to kill them before he could. Every method, every weapon, and every strategy his.
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