It’s the first in a line, in a line that has never been past the first step, although every step increases the danger. She doesn’t want him to know, doesn’t want anyone to know. No one needs to know her pain, no one needs to carry her burden, no one but her. It seems like she is trying to keep him at arm’s length, or pushing him away with all she has. When in reality she doesn’t know how to let him in any more than she already has. To let him in any father would be to not know. As of now she has let him in as far as she has let anyone else, so she know how it will feel if he was to disappear, to let him in farther would be to not know how hurt she could become. To let him in farther would be to tell him everything, to let him explore, and to let him ask anything he wants and for him to get a real answer. To let him in more would be to not hide from him, to stop hiding from him what has always been hidden. To let him in would be to let him see, to let him behind all the walls, behind. I weigh less than half of what you weigh. You’re straddling my chest with my arms crossed over my head and my legs are fastened to the bedposts. For some reason for the first time I feel really exposed. It isn’t the fact I was wearing next to nothing when I started this game or the little show in the kitchen. It wasn’t bending over and shaking my bottom with my womanhood exposed or even having my legs tied to the bed like this and it isn’t being thrown over your shoulder when you carried me into the bedroom with your hand on my squeezing bottom. It’s laying here with you straddling my chest. It’s having my arms up like this and how my chest and breasts are pulled taut. My breasts are small to begin with but being stretched out like this makes me look even smaller. For the first time I start to agree with my inner schoolgirl. I have a desire to hide behind her, an overwhelming need to cover up. My inner schoolgirl quietly wraps a quilt around me and is hugging me tightly. “Are you.
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